The Babbling Bleating Old Man

All that I think is important, is not after all. I just wanna sit alone under a tree accompanied by the drizzle.

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin’ when I hold you
Don’t you know I feel the same

‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We’ve been through this such a long long time
Just tryin’ to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one’s really sure who’s lettin’ go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin’ that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin’ don’t refrain
Or I’ll just end up walkin’
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time…on your own
Do you need some time…all alone
Everybody needs some time…
on their own
Don’t you know you need some time…all alone

I know it’s hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn’t time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time…on my
own
Sometimes I need some time…all alone
Everybody needs some time…
on their own
Don’t you know you need some time…all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there’s no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don’t ya think that you need somebody
Don’t ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one

Chivalry?

GAH…

 
Go live in oblivion.

I can’t meet
Losing sleep over this
No I can’t
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I’ll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I can be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head
But underneath my feet
Cause by tomorrow morning I’ll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Cause I’m waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomoroow
I’m somewhere in between
What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don’t want to run away from this
I know that I just don’t need this

Cause I cannot stand still
I can be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

Cause I’m waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomorrow
And I’m somewhere in between
What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream
What is real just a dream

Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion, meditating deeply on Perfection of Wisdom, saw clearly that the five aspects of human existence are empty*, and so released himself from suffering.  Answering the monk Sariputra, he said this:

Body is nothing more than emptiness,
emptiness is nothing more than body.
The body is exactly empty,
and emptiness is exactly body.

The other four aspects of human existence —
feeling, thought, will, and consciousness —
are likewise nothing more than emptiness,
and emptiness nothing more than they.

All things are empty:
Nothing is born, nothing dies,
nothing is pure, nothing is stained,
nothing increases and nothing decreases.

So, in emptiness, there is no body,
no feeling, no thought,
no will, no consciousness.
There are no eyes, no ears,
no nose, no tongue,
no body, no mind.
There is no seeing, no hearing,
no smelling, no tasting,
no touching, no imagining.
There is nothing seen, nor heard,
nor smelled, nor tasted,
nor touched, nor imagined.

There is no ignorance,
and no end to ignorance.
There is no old age and death,
and no end to old age and death.
There is no suffering, no cause of suffering,
no end to suffering, no path to follow.
There is no attainment of wisdom,
and no wisdom to attain.

The Bodhisattvas rely on the Perfection of Wisdom,
and so with no delusions,
they feel no fear,
and have Nirvana here and now.

All the Buddhas,
past, present, and future,
rely on the Perfection of Wisdom,
and live in full enlightenment.

The Perfection of Wisdom is the greatest mantra.
It is the clearest mantra,
the highest mantra,
the mantra that removes all suffering.

This is truth that cannot be doubted.
Say it so:

Gaté,
gaté,
paragaté,
parasamgaté.
Bodhi!
Svaha!

Gone,
gone,
gone over,
gone fully over.
Awakened!
So be it!

Sighs. I need a break. 

Would you love to see the world burn?

I do.

What happened since I wrote the first Before and After

What happened since April 12, 2008 till this very minute:

• Bunker-busted my Optimization and Separations papers
• Survived the Assignment Onslaught of Semester 1 (14 Assignments!)
• Body odour. Body odour. Presentation.
• Got a MAS airline ticket for Malam Malaysia Lucky Draw.
• Was back in Malaysia for 3 days.
• Was in the China Synergy Programme in Hong Kong and China. The programme was great, but the people were greater
• Did well for mid-year exams. Would like to thank my study-mates for all the assistance and drive
• Just returned from Hamner Spring with those two goons from Sunway. Hehe.

What is about to happen:

• The Dark Knight.
• Phone home more regularly.
• Raise NZD 4000 for Malam Malaysia.
• Execute the Affirmation Programme.
• Try to get an average Grade of A- for my end-year exams (350 and 360!).
• Meditate once per week.
• Get a practical job placement.
• Get a pair of futsal shoes.
• Submit the UCSA Points Claim regularly.
• Save money for next year’s big holiday during Easter break.

You shine darker than the night
You are older than the Light
You’re invisible to me
Without a face or skin to see
So terrible, and secretly
Eternally, black sun

You penetrate and baste the mind
Show my soul another light
You seduce and desecrate
So damn cold and far away
And yet inside you heat me up
Forever comes the black sun

You appear in all my dreams
Touch my blank heart with your things
The tree of life strives in your ace
As you free me from the pain
To tell the truth, you frighten me
Eternally, black sun

You exceed the speed of light
You’re everywhere, and every time
Not the father, nor the mother
Nor the kingdom come of heaven
But without you I’m nothing
Endlessly, my black sun

My black sun

Nothing has changed.
You never learn.

They say i need some rogaine to put in my hair
Work it out at the gym to fit my underwear
Okaley makes the shades to transform a tool
You’d hate for the kids to think that you’ve lost your cool

Imma do the things that i wanna do
I ain’t got a thing to prove to you
I’ll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if i make a scene
I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you like
I’m fine and dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and i’m tickled pink
I don’t give a hoot about what you think

everyone likes to dance to a happy song
with a catchy chorus and beat so they can sing along
timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the charts
maybe if i work with him i can perfect the art

Imma do the things that i wanna do
I ain’t got a thing to prove to you
I’ll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if i make a scene
I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you like
I’m fine and dandy with the me inside
one look in the mirror and i’m tickled pink
I don’t give a hoot about what you think

no, i don’t care
i don’t care
i don’t care
i don’t care
i don’t care
i don’t care

Imma do the things that i wanna do
I ain’t got a thing to prove to you
I’ll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if i make a scene
I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you like
I’m fine and dandy with the me inside
one look in the mirror and i’m tickled pink
I don’t give a hoot about what you think